


Colors

by FanFicAddict7



Series: Halsey [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Letters, Light Angst, Love Letters, M/M, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 15:32:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13367673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanFicAddict7/pseuds/FanFicAddict7
Summary: Remus writes letters to Sirius through the years, not intending to actually give them. It's more like a journal for him, allowing him to say all the things he wishes he could.





	Colors

**Author's Note:**

> This is a companion to Is There Somewhere  
> Song lyrics are "Colors" by Halsey

_Your little brother never tells you but he loves you so_ _  
_ _You said your mother only smiled on her tv show_ _  
_ _You’re only happy when your sorry head is filled with dope_  
 _I hope you make it to the day you’re twenty-eight years old_

 

Dear Padfoot,

I'm sitting here, watching you as you sleep. It hasn't been an easy day for you. I know you can't tell, but Regulus doesn't hate you as much as you think, I promise. And forget what your mom has to say. She doesn't have to be your family. Not now that you have us. I hope you realize that before you do something stupid, because I have already done the stupid thing of caring about you.

Remus

 

 _You’re dripping like a saturated sunrise_ _  
_ _You’re spilling like an overflowing sink_ _  
_ _You’re ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece_   
And now i’m tearing through the pages and the ink

 

Dear Padfoot,

I don't know how to help anymore. One moment you are sunshine ripping through the room, filling every space. The next, you are closed tighter than a Gringotts vault. Finding you the way I did today... I never expected that. I want to ask why, but that's a stupid question. I know why. But you don't have to feel like that. You aren't perfect, none of us are. But you are enough. And I wish you'd see that. Well, I'll see you after you're released from the hospital wing.

Remus

 

 _Everything is blue_ _  
_ _His pills, his hands, his jeans_ _  
_ _And now i’m covered in the colors pull apart at the seams_ _  
_ _And it's blue_   
And it's blue

 

Dear Padfoot,

They're dead.

Remus

 

 _Everything is grey_ _  
_ _His hair, his smoke, his dreams_ _  
_ _And now he's so devoid of color_ _  
_ _He don’t know what it means_ _  
_ _And he's blue_   
And he's blue

 

Dear Sirius,

Why? Were the Potter’s not enough? You had to take Peter and yourself from me too? I saw you at the ministry before they took you away too. What happened to you? When did you become this pale imitation of a man? Do you even care anymore?

Remus

 

 _You were a vision in the morning when the light came through_ _  
_ _I know I’ve only felt religion when i’ve lied with you_ _  
_ _You said you’ll never be forgiven till your boys are too_   
And I’m still waking every morning but it’s not with you

 

Dear ~~Padfoot~~ Sirius,

I shouldn't miss you like this. It's wrong to miss someone who destroyed your world, but all I can think is of all those days we spent together. You showed me what love was, before you ripped it away. I don't know what to do anymore.

Remus

 

 _You’re dripping like a saturated sunrise_ _  
_ _You’re spilling like an overflowing sink_ _  
_ _You’re ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece_   
And now I’m tearing through the pages and the ink

 

Dear Sirius,

You're back. I don't know how, but you're back. It all seems so impossible. You are still full of energy, but I don't know what to do anymore for your bouts of melancholy. They are stronger than before, longer too. You are still artwork of a man, but the canvas has been torn, and no amount of stitches can fix it.

Remus

 

 _Everything is blue_ _  
_ _His pills, his hands, his jeans_ _  
_ _And now I’m covered in the colors Pull apart at the seams_ _  
_ _And it's blue_   
And it's blue

Dear Sirius,

I see you staring. I see the looks in your eye you think you hide when she enters the room. I know you wish to be her. But that time has passed. I'm sorry.

Remus

 

 _You were red, and you liked me because I was blue_ _  
_ _But you touched me, and suddenly I was a lilac sky_   
Then you decided purple just wasn't for you

 

Dear Sirius,

Harry isn't ok, the war is upon us, things are changing, but you seem stuck in the past. Things aren't how they were. Time has passed, things have changed, we have changed, and you aren't able to see that. The more imminent the threat, the more scared I am of losing you. I know how you are. Please be careful.

Remus

 

 _Everything is blue_ _  
_ _His pills, his hands, his jeans_ _  
_ _And now I'm covered in the colors pull apart at the seams_ _  
_ _And it's blue_   
And it's blue

 

Dear Padfoot,

I told you to stay back. I yelled, I begged, I commanded, but you wouldn't be reasoned with. And now you've left me behind. You were reckless, just as I predicted. I almost followed you through the veil too. I would have if it wasn't for Harry. His screams when you fell, it was horrible. You left us. I should be angry, I want to be angry, it'd be easier, but instead, I can't stop crying. I never imagined a life without you, when we were young, and now I've lost you twice. Why couldn't you have listened?

Remus

 

 _Everything is grey_ _  
_ _His hair, his smoke, his dreams_ _  
_ _And now he's so devoid of color_ _  
_ _He don't know what it means_ _  
_ _And he's blue_   
And he's blue

 

Dear ~~Padfoot Sirius~~ Padfoot,

I had a son. I spent the night after he was born rereading the letters you left. I can't believe it's been that long since you've gone. Sometimes I catch myself wishing we were still back in school, but we had problems even then. We just didn't want to acknowledge them. I hope you're happier now than you were when you were here. I hope you're waiting for me. I miss you. Tonight, we are going to fight, so I may not miss you for much longer, but I hope I don't have to see you tonight. Well, it's time for me to go. Goodbye, Padfoot.

Moony

 


End file.
